When you are of the view that something is inconsistent, consider the fact that you are measuring the other party’s actions in accordance with your personal expectations, which may include obligations and rights that have been unilaterally imposed on him or her and which will forever remain unknown and unknowable unless you seek express clarification.
Simply put, what may appear to be inconsistent to you may merely be inconsistent behaviour vis-a-vis your expectations of a certain state of affairs.
Most people generally behave in an entirely consistent manner with what they believe to be appropriate or civil based on the pre-existing paradigm they have, consciously or subconsciously, pigeonholed you into.
And it is, perhaps, with this frame of mind that one should consider what one’s actions actually signify to others – and vice versa – so as to differentiate between the signal and the noise.
After all, we tend to perceive the world using asymmetrical lenses: we judge our own actions by our intentions, which are fortunately or unfortunately sequestered in the hidden province of our minds, and that of others by circumstances divorced of context.
This may likely be exacerbated by the fact that we now live in an interconnected and heavily flattened world, where the inflation of textual communication has invariably devalued the currency and meaning of words. Accordingly, access to another person’s inner sanctum of thoughts may likely prove to be more difficult or even impossible.
We thus find ourselves scrambling to acquire and assimilate scraps of available information so as to connect the dots between actions and intentions and consequently form either a map or mural.
We erroneously but unavoidably believe that in the Venn diagram of ‘act’ and ‘intent’, only the overlapping region is true; in essence, the provable intent has been proven by act.
Ultimately, however, such visual compartmentalisation may lead to false conclusions. There are many complexities in life which (come to think of it bear certain resemblance to prime numbers) resist analysis or the resolution into simpler, constituent elements.
Indeed, life is more than just the sum of facts, evidence and proof. Sometimes we just have to take the leap of faith.